Fourth Draft of Synopsis Notes

Fourth Draft of Synopsis Notes

Story/Plot/Mis En Scene changes

-‘It’s about quarter past midnight on a quiet main road’à Change setting: ‘It’s about quarter past midnight at a deserted train station.’

-‘A young man, 18, is standing at a train station’ à Change setting: ‘A young man, 18, is standing at an empty platform’.

-‘Down the road, a boy about the age of 15…’ à Setting and syntax changes: ‘From the other end of the platform, a boy, 15, …’  

-‘The younger  boy arrives at the station…’ à ‘The younger boy approaches the station…’.

-‘…as he sits down on a bench near the older boy’ à ‘…as he sits down on an adjacent bench’.
-'...as he sits down.' --> '...and sits down.'

-‘He stares at the older boy for a couple of seconds before deciding to stand up and ask him for a lighter.’ à ‘He stares at the older boy for a couple of seconds then stands up and asks him for a lighter.’

-'...with just a lighter in.' --> '...with just a lighter inside.'
-‘He accepts…’ à ‘The older boy accepts…’
-'...lights up his cigarette.' --> '...lights up the cigarette.'

-‘He sees a group of about 6 or 7 of his friends on the centre of the bus.’ à ‘He sees a group of about 6 or 7 of his friends on the centre of the carriage.’